


This Year's Love

by Johnlocked221b



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Adorable Connor, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety Attacks, Connor Deserves Happiness, Connor Needs A Hug, Connor gets a hug, Couch Cuddles, Cuddling & Snuggling, Deviant Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Connor/Markus (Detroit: Become Human), Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Gavin Reed is a Little Shit, Gay Disaster Gavin Reed, Grief/Mourning, Guilt, Hank Anderson Adopts Connor, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Hank Anderson/Gavin Reed, Implied/Referenced Sex, Implied/Referenced Suicide, It's Simon, M/M, Markus (Detroit: Become Human) Needs a Hug, Mutual Pining, Or is it the best ending if Simon died?, Panic Attacks, Post-Pacifist Best Ending (Detroit: Become Human), Protective Parent Hank Anderson, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-19
Updated: 2019-12-19
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:00:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21861856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Johnlocked221b/pseuds/Johnlocked221b
Summary: Connor lives with the guilt of his actions as the Deviant Hunter and the trauma that comes with it. No one blames him but himself.
Relationships: Connor/Markus (Detroit: Become Human), Hank Anderson & Connor, Hank Anderson/Gavin Reed
Comments: 11
Kudos: 281





	This Year's Love

**Author's Note:**

> Title comes from the song 'This Year's Love' by David Gray

Connor couldn’t breathe. He didn’t _need_ to breathe but that didn’t stop the deep, _dreadful_ feeling that overcame him and made his entire chassis tighten up. Wide brown eyes darted about the precinct and caught Hank’s from across the desks as error messages flashed across his HUD and his thirium pump pulsed at twice its normal speed.

“Hey, hey son, what’s- here, sit down.” Hank pulled up a chair and his hands hovered over Connor’s arms, not wanting to touch him and make things worse.

Connor collapsed in the chair and gripped the arms until his fingers left dents in the metal. His audio processors glitched in and out as he blinked up at Hank in confusion. He could see his lips moving and the worry in his eyes, but whatever he was saying wasn’t processing in Connor’s artificial brain.

“Hank?’ His voice was weak, shaking and confused. Or was it even coming out at all? “What’s happening? Hank?”

Hank knelt down in front of him, hands outstretched but not touching yet. Not until Connor gave the okay. Was it okay? Or would he hurt him too?

“Son, you’re shaking. Please, fucking say something.” Hank begged him and Connor searched his eyes, something… _something_

**F̸̙̱̆̈̏͜ͅĖ̸̖͎̲̀͐͗͌Ā̸̛̮̰̝̪̭̌Ŗ̵͚͓͌̏̆̑̇**

rippling through his body. So he hadn’t been speaking, before. “Hank – ”

“I’m here, Connor.” Hank sounded just a little bit relieved, especially when Connor’s hands unlatched from the chair arms and gently closed around his partner’s.

Hank was warm. He was solid and Connor could feel the blood pulsing through the tiny veins in his wrists and palms, could hear his heart beating at 97bpm, could see the dilation and contraction of his pupils, could smell the aftershave he’d used that morning…Hank was here and Connor was…He was okay.

**PROCESSING …**

**ELEVATED STRESS LEVELS DETECTED**

**STRESS LEVEL: 64% v**

“I’m okay,” Connor said, though his voice said he was anything _but_ , “I’m okay..”

Hank gave him a very skeptical look, holding onto Connor’s hands. “Stress level?”

“36%,” He lied and Hank’s brows furrowed. He glanced at the terminal on Connor’s desk, the one he’d stood up from so suddenly that it sent his chair flying back. Displayed on the screen was the crime scene photos of a murdered PL600 model android. Shot through the head, eyes staring blankly at the sky. Hank recognized the face from the rooftop on Stratford tower, some odd six or seven months ago when their mission was to hunt the deviants and their leader.

Hot on their trail, Connor had just been doing what he did best; investigating a crime scene and ignoring Hank’s orders. After a brief tussle for the gun, the deviant PL600 had put it to his chin and pulled the trigger. Connor had been caught in an interface with the android and was left knowing what it was like to _die_. To turn the gun on himself and - 

And that was something Hank never wanted him to know.

“Connor, look at me.” Hank said, finally understanding what Connor might be feeling. “It wasn’t your fault. You were just doing your – ”

“My job?” Connor frowned. “An android lost his life because of _me_. Several androids lost their lives because of me. He didn’t even get to see the other side to this; to what he was fighting for because I _killed_ him.”

“No, you didn’t.” Hank shook his head. “You didn’t kill him. He killed – ” He trailed off, eyes flashing painfully, unable to say what he meant. “It wasn’t your fault.”

“His name was Simon.” Connor said softly and looked down at their hands. “He was the deviant leader before Markus. He gave his life to keep me from finding Jericho and I did anyway.”

“And they won _because_ you did.” Hank argued and then sighed out deeply. “Maybe you should go home, son. Get some rest. You’ve been going, nonstop, for days.”

“I don’t need to r-”

“Don’t give me that bullshit.” Hank scolded him, his voice sounding very much like a dad in that moment.

Connor pressed his lips together, calculating his odds of winning this argument, were he to persist.

**3%**

Of course.

Connor finally conceded to a nod and dropped his head. He felt almost…drained. Maybe an overnight charge and a bottle of thirium would set him right. _Definitely_ some Sumo cuddles. And then he’d be back on the case tomorrow, bright and early to make up for lost time.

Connor stood when Hank did, wrapping his arms around the larger man and breathing him in.

**HANK ^**

**FAMILY**

“Come home safe.” Connor begged him. “Call if you stay overtime.”

“I will.” Hank promised and gently squeezed Connor in turn. “Call me if you need anything or if you feel like you’re having another panic attack.”

**PANIC ATTACK: noun  
** **AN EPISODE OF INTENSE FEAR OR APPREHENSION THAT IS OF SUDDEN ONSET**

“I will, Hank.” Connor sighed and stepped back, smoothing out his pineapple patterned button-up shirt.

Now that he wasn’t required to wear his Cyberlife-issued uniform, he’d begun to take inspiration from those he considered friends. He enjoyed the patterns that Hank layered on, brighter colors, and the sarcastic t-shirts that had been handed down to him. He even liked the hoodies he saw Detective Reed wear sometimes, those with patched elbows and other unique detail. Connor especially liked soft things. His heightened sensitivities to touch made faux furs, Sumo, and high-thread-count cottons extremely pleasant to touch. He had more blankets scattered around Hank’s house than Hank had ever seen in his life. Crazy patterned socks with dogs, cats, fish, and even dragons had appeared in Hank’s laundry. It was a nice change. A _welcome_ change. Hank was just happy that Connor was comfortable; finding things that he personally enjoyed.

Hank reached out with his sleeve and wiped away some of the android’s artificial tears which had wet his cheeks and lashes.

“Why don’t you two get a fuckin’ room?” Gavin called as he walked in with a donut in hand. He obviously hadn’t seen the shit that had just transpired.

“Why don’t you suck my ass?” Hank shot back.

Connor smirked, feeling a tiny bit better. Hearing Hank sass Reed on his behalf was always entertaining. With a final nod Hank’s way, he headed out the front.

Once he was gone, Hank sat down with a deep sigh and picked up his phone. He quickly dialed a number which he’d memorized for safe-keeping.

A smooth voice answered on the second ring and Hank could hear the voices of several other androids behind him, “Lieutenant Anderson, what can I do for you?”

“Markus, hey, I just…I need a bit of a favor.” Hank said, blushing at the implications of what he was about to say. God, after Cole passed, he never thought he’d be in this position. Speaking to someone else who just wanted to love his child; but in a very different way. In ways that Hank couldn’t. He didn’t know how to feel about sending someone else to comfort Connor. Maybe that was just part of being a parent; realizing that you are no longer their only sense of companionship and comfort. “Connor just left the station and he’s on his way home. He’s been pretty tense for a while and I think it has something to do with this case. He kinda freaked out a minute ago. I just wanna make sure he gets home okay and that he’s not alone if it happens again. I know you’re busy, but – ”

“Actually, I just left my last obligation of the day. I’d be happy to stop by.” Markus said cheerfully, as if he was looking forward to spending time with Connor. Of course he was, who _wouldn’t_ be? Connor was a special person and Markus, especially, seemed crazy about him. He knew he’d be good to him.

“I mean, you’re welcome to stay with him too.” Hank paused and buried his face in his hand when Markus gave a knowing little hum.

“Thank you for your permission. I’ll stay for as long as he wants me to.” Markus assured him.

“Good. Just – no funny business in my house, okay? God, at least don’t let me know about it.” Hank groaned, dreading that talk most of all. “And…nothing he doesn’t agree to or I might have to beat you to death. Cool?”

Markus was silent for a moment and then Hank recognized what sounded like light laughter. “You have my word, Lieutenant.”

“Thank you.” Hank breathed and then pointed out, “I’ll be home around seven.”

Markus chuckled once again, deep and melodious. “I’ll see you then.”

Hank hung up and drug a hand back through his hair, “Fuckin’ androids.”

Gavin glanced down at Hank from where he hovered over his desk, fucking nosy and annoying as always. “Did you just call in a fuckin’ booty call for the tin can?”

Hank groaned out loud. “Fuck. Off.”

Gavin finished his donut and licked the icing from his fingers one by one. “That mean you’re free tonight?”

“You wish,” Hank rolled his eyes. “Now kindly take your ass off my desk and leave me alone.”

“Shame,” Gavin shrugged, standing up and crossing his arms, “I could rock your fuckin’ world, old man. Better than that little twink.”

“Yeah I remember you saying something like that last time but my world is still on its fucking axis.” Hank grumbled and the younger man scowled. “And that _twink_ is my son, so shut the fuck up.”

“Well you know my number if you change your mind.” Gavin walked off after that and Hank hated himself for the way his eyes followed him.

***

When Markus knocked on the door, he wasn’t expecting the sight behind it to catch his breath. Connor opened it with wide, curious, eyes framed by a pair of glasses that had to be purely aesthetic. His hair was a curly mess and he was dressed down, way down, in a pair of gray sweatpants and a tight baby-blue hoodie. Markus felt his thirium pump give a gentle stutter and he tried to cover it with a smile. “Connor.”

“Markus? What are you doing here?” The RK800 asked, glancing around behind him for anyone else as Sumo bumped past him and shoved his large nose into Markus’ palm. “Do you need me to come to New Jericho?”

“No nothing like that,” Markus paused, petting the happy dog on his large, solid head. “May I come in?”

Connor stepped to the side in his socked feet, toes curling into the carpet as he waited for Markus to enter and explain his sudden arrival. Sumo circled around behind Connor and gave his hand a lick for good measure.

“Hank called me,” Markus began and Connor didn’t look pleased about that.

“I’m sorry, Markus. You must be so busy. Hank’s just – he worries too much. I don’t need a babysitter, I promise.” Connor tried to apologize and Markus shook his head.

“No, it’s fine. Really. Like I told him, I’m done with my obligations for the day. I don’t mind spending time with you,” He smiled, mismatched eyes crinkling so humanly in the outer corners. “I’ve been looking for an excuse to come see you anyway.”

“You see me all the time.” Connor countered. “I come to New Jericho at least twice a week.”

“No, I mean…” Markus stepped forward. “Just you.”

Connor’s freckled cheeks flushed a tiny bit purple and he found himself looking away at the smoothness of Markus’ flirtation. They’d been dancing around this for so long. Even North was begging one of them to make a move.

Connor didn’t know what that move would be. In all his social protocols, adaptivity programming, and preconstruction abilities, nothing told him what to do about someone who made his thirium pump feel like a cluster of butterflies.

Markus always seemed like the type who knew exactly what he wanted and knew what steps to take to get there, so Connor would leave the ‘making a move’ to him.

“I was just about to catch up on Criminal Minds?” Connor offered, gesturing to the sofa where Sumo had already lay down, massive head resting in Connor’s spot. “Unless you’d rather have a glass of thirium first?”

Markus shrugged, “I’d like to talk to you for a while, if that’s okay? It seems like we never get much time for that; to get to know each other.”

Connor smiled to himself and Markus swore he was made of diamond or something equally as beautiful.

As he turned into the kitchen, Markus hummed, “How you were once my people’s biggest fear, I will never understand.”

Connor stopped at the counter, staring at it for a while. Markus didn’t mean any harm in the remark, of course, but it still made Connor uneasy, the tightness in his chassis returning for a moment. “They had every reason to fear me.” He said quietly. “I was designed to be underestimated. Trusted. And I was also designed to _hunt deviants_ and put them down.”

“You saved our people, Connor. We couldn’t have done it without you, not on that scale.” Markus sounded _proud_. How?

Connor dropped his head and closed his eyes, “After hunting them down and killing – ”

“You saved the Traci’s. And Chloe.” Markus told him, “When given the choice, you chose to spare their lives. You spared mine.”

“How – ” Connor’s eyes were wide and so so brown.

“You don’t think I can tell when I have a gun pointed at my head?” Markus chuckled, leaning against the counter beside him. “And we weren’t exactly alone, in a private place. The point is, you fought your own programming to spare my life.”

Connor was quiet for a moment before he could no longer hold Markus’ gaze and he looked away, feeling his stress levels rising once again. HUD warnings flashed across his vision, warning him of a critical stress increase, a temperature increase, and issues with his auditory processes.

“̴I̶'̴m̵ ̸a̶ ̶d̴a̸n̴g̸e̸r̸ ̵t̸o̷ ̴y̷o̶u̶ ̴a̴n̵d̶ ̷t̶o̷ ̷J̴e̸r̶i̵c̶h̶o̵.̸ ̷” Connor’s voice came out scratchy with grief and

**GUILT** **noun  
1\. ~~THE STATE OF HAVING COMMITTED A BREACH OF CONDUCT ESPECIALLY VIOLATING LAW AND INVOLVING PENALTY~~**

  1. **FEELINGS OF DESERVING BLAME ESPECIALLY FOR IMAGINED OFFENSES OR FROM A SENSE OF INADEQUACY**



“Connor?” Markus seemed genuinely worried. “Look at me?”

He shook his head. He didn’t deserve to meet Markus’ eyes. To stand in his presence.

“Connor, please.” Markus begged, beautiful voice breaking slightly. “Come back to me. What do you see?”

“M̸a̵r̴k̴u̴s̸,” Connor whined, everything becoming so overwhelming. He reached out and Markus took his arm, pulling back his skin and allowing an interface.

_“I don’t wanna die.” The PL600 – **Daniel** – said softly. He was too close to the edge but Connor was talking him down. Slowly. Calmly. It was **working**._

_“You’re not going to die. We’re just going to talk. Nothing will happen to you. You have my word.” Connor was holding his hands out, showing the deviant he meant him no harm._

**_100% PROBABILITY OF SUCCESS  
Deviant Stabilizing_ **

_“Okay…” Daniel said, putting his life in Connor’s hands. “I trust you.” He gently set the little girl – Emma – on her feet and she stumbled onto safer ground._

_Connor met his eyes and gave him a nod. A reassuring nod that told Daniel he’d be okay. And yet he knew…he knew what was coming next._

_Blue erupted from Daniel’s body in a mist as a chunk of his side was taken by a bullet. Then another from his shoulder and a third shattered his jaw._

_Daniel fell to his knees, looking up at Connor with regret on his face. Regret for ever trusting Connor. For ever believing his lies. “You lied to me, Connor.” He said, voice shaking. Resigned to his own fate. “You lied to me.”_

**_SOFTWARE INSTABILITY ^_ **

_His LED, which had been glowing a bright and brilliant red, flickered into darkness._

**_MISSION SUCCESSFUL_ **

****

_It was so cold. Even Connor’s HUD warned him of the temperature drop at the top of this skyscraper. If he spent too long up here, in the open, his biocomponents could possibly begin to malfunction as his thirium froze. He followed the trail of blue all the way to the maintenance door on an AC unit. As soon as he opened the door and locked eyes with the PL600 inside, a shot rang out and warmth spread out over his shoulder. Connor was thrown onto his side and then immediately pulled up by his partner. Together, they hid behind another unit as gunfire was exchanged by the android and the officers on Connor’s (?) side._

_“You have to stop them! If they destroy it, we won’t learn anything!” Connor was more worried about the information at risk than the life of the PL600 on this rooftop._

_“We can’t save it,” Hank growled, clutching his gun, “It’s too late! We’ll just get ourselves killed!” Hank was worried for Connor. Hank was prepared to go down fighting with Connor._

_Connor met his eyes and then immediately darted around the unit serving as his cover. He dodged each bullet fired his way from both sides and leaped over the unit serving as the deviant’s cover, interfacing with it in an attempt to pull any information he could in just a millisecond of time. **JERICHO.** It didn’t mean much to Connor but he didn’t have time to explore before he was violently ripped from the interface by a bullet. A ripping through his central processors, burning heat from the path of the round, fear fear f̶_ _e̴a̸r̸_ _and blackness. Total and complete nothingness._

Markus stepped back with a blink and rubbed at his own wrist. “Simon..” He breathed out.

Connor was _distraught_. Now he knew. Now Markus knew who was responsible for Simon’s death. It was him all along. He’d killed Simon. His stomach rolled with it. “Markus…”

Markus stepped forward and did something Connor was not expecting. He gathered him in his arms and squeezed, burying his face in Connor’s curls. “I’m so sorry I asked you to work this case. I didn’t know.”

_Markus_ was sorry??

Connor held onto him anyway, fingers curling into the coat on Markus’ back.

“I didn’t know it would come back to me like this.” Connor mumbled against the fabric.

“Trauma,” Markus said, as if that word alone explained everything. It kind of did.

“Markus, I – ”

“Shhh,” Markus purred, still holding Connor like he was precious and not someone who had caused the death of one of his closest friends. “You were just doing what you were programmed to do.”

“So? I still did it.” Connor didn’t understand how that excused him at all.

“You didn’t have a choice.” Markus explained and pulled back to take his hand. “You were programmed to hunt deviants like I was programmed to be a caretaker and North was programmed to be a sex doll. I can’t blame you for being made to do the things you did.”

Connor followed the taller android to the sofa and sat down with him once Sumo lazily crawled off of it. “He was your friend.” He lamented. “And because of me, he’s dead.”

Markus sighed out. “Simon was a good man. He was a loyal friend with a kind heart and I grieve for him every day…but he also didn’t acquire that gun on his own.”

Connor frowned.

“I gave him the gun. To use on himself. To defend himself, defend our secrets. We couldn’t jump with him so we had to leave him. I knew there was a very significant chance that he’d be found and questioned so I gave him the gun and allowed him to make his own decision.” Markus explained. “So if you’re to blame for Simon’s death, so am I. Probably three times as much.”

Connor couldn’t find the words to protest what he was saying so he chose to stay quiet.

“Simon chose to do what he did because he was free.” Markus told him firmly, voice still so smooth. “Just like you decided to put your life at risk and return to Cyberlife to gather an army. I wish sacrifices didn’t have to be made, and I would never ask someone to die for our cause, but the people who make those sacrifices do so freely, as _people_.”

Connor thought he was beginning to see. His stress levels had dropped and he was no longer having trouble with his thirium pump other than the gentle thumps it gave when Markus took his hand or spoke to him in that low, musical voice of his. He was still having a few tremors, however. Residual reactions to a dramatic increase in stress. Nothing serious.

Still, Markus took it as a sign that Connor needed to lie down. He pat his lap and Connor did so, resting his cheek against Markus’ thigh as the RK200 drug fingers through his curls and continued to talk him through the rest of the tightness in his chest. Connor focused more on his voice than his words, since he was mostly talking about the usual, every day things being done at New Jericho, segwaying into talking about the garden he wanted to plant outside to make it seem more inviting. Connor could listen to Markus read from the dictionary.

***

When Hank opened his door, at exactly seven that evening, he didn’t know what to expect. It certainly wasn’t the sight of two RK prototypes in stasis on his sofa; Markus on his back, long legs stretched over the arm of the sofa, and Connor lying belly-down on his chest and between his legs, with a faux leather coat draped over the both of them.

It wasn’t what he was expecting but he was glad to see it anyway.

Hank snapped a photo and saved it for later.

**Author's Note:**

> Not to be thirsty on main but I could seriously listen to Jesse Williams talk for days. That man has the voice of an angel.


End file.
